I got a call about something that seems really exciting to me - so much so that I know deep down I really want it badly, but at the same time, I dont know whether I should just expect the worse, and give away any sense of hope.

You see, hope is one of those things that can make your day, or completely wreck a couple more. To hope means to expect something, to be optimistic about that one thing, and to want something really badly. But to hope is to also play the waiting game - that sense of eternal ticking away, that game that goes by oh so slowly, where the thoughts of your certain want and optimism could shatter or could be fulfilled any instant. Then after the waiting game, hope plays more tricks on you. To hope is to take a chance on life, and even on your happiness so to speak. To hope, and to play the waiting game can often lead to two very different arenas and pathways. To hope and to fulfil that hope means joy, even more expectations and a sense of accomplishment and self-worth. But to hope and to not receive can mean devastation, tears, and the feeling of unworthiness, and further affect your future expectations and dreams.

I know that I can't help but hope , to remain optimistic - but at the same time, I dont want to hope. I dont want to play that waiting game, and to put a gamble on whether that hope will leave me elated, or depressed.

How to supress hope? Well, that's an arena not yet travelled...